Marriage and Family in the Later Years

I have covered many challenges that come to marriages and families, but I have mostly focused on early marriage and family. Today I want to focus on some things that are unique to life later in marriage and family. 

Custodial Grandparents

One challenge I mentioned briefly in my last post was that of grandparents raising their While this can be quite a burden on an aging adult, it can also pose an opportunity for the grandparent to be involved in their grandchild's life. The number of grandparents who have custodial care of their grandchildren has increased in the recent years to about 2.4 million in the United States. This situation often comes as a result of the parents losing their rights as parents. While this is not an ideal situation, children who are raised by their grandparents do better academically and behaviorally than if they were left in the care of their poorly functioning parents. 

If you are a grandparent raising your grandchildren it is important to be aware of how taxing it can be. Grandparents in this situation are more likely to suffer depression and have health problems. Although it is stressful to be raising children again, it is important to some of the grandparents because they believe that they were at least partially responsible for the failings of their own children. They see their chance to raise their grandchildren as an opportunity to redeem themselves in a way through providing the quality of care that they can to their grandchildren. 

The graduation of the youngest child is the beginning of the empty nest.

Empty Nest

An empty nest would be the opposite of becoming a custodial parent, but it poses some unique challenges as well. Sometimes as parents successfully launch all of their children from their home, they may find a new struggle to find what drives them when it is no longer their children. Parents in this stage that find their home empty and quiet may think if their lives are no longer driven by the activities and daily needs of their children, what is their purpose? There is suddenly much more free time and an interruption to the identity they have known for themselves for at least two decades. The time of an empty nest has proven to be more often challenging for women. 

It is important that couples nurture their relationship throughout their time raising children, so that when they get to the point of the empty nest they still have a relationship to enjoy together. When all the children are moved out of the home is the time that couples can rekindle the romance. This can be an exciting time to reestablish what their relationship means to them and to even redefine themselves as individuals. 

Retirement

While the empty nest tends to be more of a challenge for women, the time of retirement proves more difficult for the men. Perhaps it is because often men develop a sense of their identity through the work that they do in their career. Men dedicate their lives to providing for their family, and they do this through earning a living at their job. Men that are wonderful providers sometimes forget to develop their own personal skills or hobbies. When the time comes to retire from working, men find themselves somewhat lost in how to move forward with their lives. This situation poses a challenge for a men, such as role transition. A retired man must reestablish what their role is in their marriage and family. 

Both of these times later in life, the empty nest and retirement, can be really stressful and depressing times if we let them. However, we can also choose to make the most of these situations. Both of these stages can be exciting for an aging couple as they now find more time to enjoy each other's company, or to pursue hobbies they have had on hold for so long while raising a family. It is also during this time that a couple may start to enjoy having grandchildren. All these transitions can be surprisingly difficult for individuals and married couples, but they can also be an exciting time of exploration. Marriage and family is always what we choose to make of it whether it be early on or in the later years.